Recently, I have been finding that I have a huge desire to justify the things I am doing or have done. But why?
I am not sure if this is an ANDI thing, a FEMALE thing, or something all together. But I found the other day while Chuck was gone at hockey practice I had to list all the things I was doing while he was gone.
- “I put the clothes away”
- “I vacuumed”
- “I cleaned this”
- “I worked on that”
And on and on. He even asked “do you feel like you need to justify what you are doing?” And my immediate response was “I didn’t want you to think I was sitting on my butt while you were at hockey.”
Let that sink in.
What in the world? Just…..what!?
Now mind you, this is not what my husband was thinking. And he would never have asked me when he got back if I had put clothes away or if I had done other things around the house had he seen me on the sofa.
But I have been feeling the need to say “see!! I am doing things. I am getting things done.”
I’ve been trying to figure out what my thought process was for this. And are there other aspects of my life that I feel this way about??
Turns out the answer is yes!
I started thinking about work and errands and some new things I want to take on. and fit in. Not only do I wonder when I will do them, I then also qustion why I don’t have time. What is it I am actually DOING with all my time?
And guess what I almost did?? Started to list off all the things I am doing with my time because I THINK I NEED TO JUSTIFY EVERYTHING I AM DOING!
So why is this? Here are some of my ideas:
- We (this is all people, not just females) have done nothing for so long during COVID that we now need to saw we are actually accomplishing ALL THE THINGS.
- Women feel like they need to prove something to someone (be it themselves, other people, strangers on social media, etc.).
- We maybe legitimately don’t feel like we are doing enough.
- Maybe we ARE doing enough for us. At this time. In this moment.
- Life feels like a whirlwind and somedays you just can’t figure out where the time went.
- You think you have more time than you do and/or things take longer than planned.
- WHO CARES!?
I am feeling overwhelmed with things I want to do, things I need to get done, things I am hoping to start and the holiday season always makes me feel stressed. I start to overthink things and since I just turned 41, each year I think about being one year older. One fewer year to accomplish things. Life can change so quickly as I have learned from losing my dad this year. Things and life just feel fragile and fast and I think I’ve felt the pull to say “I am doing something with myself. I still have time to do more even if I don’t feel it in this moment.”
So take the time for yourself if you need it. You will get the things done. You don’t need to justify your actions or the amount of things you have accomplished
- What are some things you find yourself justifying?
- Do you think people need to justify what they are doing with their time?