Changed
Things are different these days. Things have been different for a while. So much staying at home has taken its toll on so many people and I am finally starting to realize some of these changes in myself.
Everyone deals with things differently. Each person and each person’s indivudal situation are different. How they cope with the pandemic varies as well. Some are essential workers, some are incredibly strict, some do whatever they want and many are somewhere in the middle.
Some of the changes I have been noticing in myself are below.
- I have noticed are that my tolerance for social gatherings have decreased. I used to be a social butterfly and an extrovert. After all this time alone (obviously not all alone, I'm with my family), long zoom meetings, or safe in person gatherings have been very draining. I have felt to tired after they are done and I have found I usually start to turn inward after about an hour. I'm just ready for it to be over.
- Noises are a lot. I used to go into stores or parks or sporting events where there were crowds and lot of noise and I would never think twice about it. Now if I go into a store I notice how loud it is, how many people are talking and how over stimulated all my senses are after a quick excursion. I can also tell this when my kids are all talking or yelling at the same time. It's just too much for my brain.
- I'm generally weary of people. I don't know where they have been, what they have been doing, how many people they have seen, etc. My general trust in other people has gone down. I feel like I know that I am as careful as I can be, but I see how people wear masks (poorly, not at all, not covering their noses - GRRR) and can only imagine how they act in other aspects of their lives. People just make me nervous and I think they are going to make me nervous for a very long time.
- I have really learned to like being home. Maybe this is partially due to the fact that we havea new home and it's all fun and new and exciting. But I think it would be the same even if we weren't in a new place. I've just come to enjoy being here and I have embraced the comfort of home.
- Scheduling anything feels so draining and daunting. With an entirely wide open schedule (for now), everything feels...heavy. It feels stressful to try to coordinate things with people because my first thought is "what could you possibly have to do that this random time doesn't work for you?" Holidays always stress me out, but trying to figure out when (or if) you can see certain people, how to do it safely and on and on, just drains me. It's like my brain can't process that many things at once and I get overwhelmed and just want to avoid planning it at all. I used to love scheduling things, but it just "doesn't bring me joy" anymore.
This past year has been so hard on everyone. I know that each person is processing things differently. These are just some things I have noticed about myself. I don’t know yet if these things are going to continue or if they will pass as we come out of isolation and return to the real world at some point. But for now, this is where I am.
Ponder This:
- What are some changes you have noticed in yourself?
- Are there changes you have noticed in other people?
- How are you handling COVID?
- Are you doing OK?
